The most important criteria is patience. Love is not an option, after all.

+ icY @ 9:22 AM

Crying can be so exhausting.

+ icY @ 9:21 AM

I started blogging like in 2003/2004 and my past entries are like crap! Cringing.

+ icY @ 3:24 PM

I'm in love with this song, 即時生效!♥ so sweeeet.

+ icY @ 3:24 PM

9 more days to TW! I'm glad to be on outlook course next week for 3 days. It just seems the week looks shorter that way. Out of the office feels refreshing. Today's Thur, can't wait for Friday! Yesterday, I received red roses from a colleague. Damn funny! We walked back to the office holding roses in our hands. Have to look ahead to avoid looking at other people's stares. It's a nice gesture though. I love flowers. Although they are expensive and never last, they are considered overrated and impractical, I love them! I feel like taking some time to immense myself in certain activities but I always get distracted by the things to do. Kinda frustrating at times. Now I know why people just give up their dreams and settle for whatever that comes their way. I must not be like that!

+ icY @ 11:59 AM

Let me blog about some happy stuff.
The Taiwan Trip!!
I know it's crazy but it seems that I have only been to TW all my life. If we don't include M'sia and Batam. Besides TW, I would love to visit Japan, U.S.A and Paris. Ooh and Maldvies. My newest muse this year after hearing so many WOW! stuff about it.
It will be fun, exciting to have something to look forward to.

Gosh I just realised my hair is getting lighter.. It might be the darker shade of dye fading away or my hair is turning white! Horrors, I need to dye my hair soon!!!

+ icY @ 11:12 AM

Saw a fren's FB status:
'If u found someone that can really change you, that is love, trust me!'
Very skeptical, as I'm sure he will go back to his old self very soon.
However, I do think there's a ring of truth to that sentence.
As in love can change a person, whether they are subtle or really major changes.


+ icY @ 11:35 AM

I have been getting more active in twitter. The convenience of having an iphone around =P
Seriously can't wait for weekend. This will be a long weekend (Fri is a PH!!) but alas why so many sickening things to do. Looking at fucked up faces and doing useless stuff. Heh. Maybe I'm lazy.. but unmotivated should be the main factor behind these unhappiness.
Back to the topic of weekend! My relatives are coming over to stay on Fri morning/noon and leaving only on Sunday afternoon. That means everyone will be unhappy and restricted in some ways. My poor bros have to sleep in my parents' room. Imagine only ONE relative coming over, will they suggest sleeping in my room as I have a bigger bed now? Horrors.
My bf most prob cannot come over. My mother is quite adamant as she hates them to the core, and would never want them to see the updates of our lives.
THe problem is recently I have became somewhat of a 'homely' person. Partying seems more of a chore than fun sometimes. The trouble of preparing and prepping oneself? Maybe.. Or maybe I have matured in my thinking, but that's not really a very valid reason. It's just having fun and fun is not limited to people below the age of 20. Blog later shit


+ icY @ 2:05 PM

People always want someone to understand them, maybe to listen and provide advice. Because the truth is everyone thinks they have the worst problems in life. That's why I say, it is better to keep to oneself to the things you strongly believe in as the words and thoughts(inner) only serves to pull you back further into the grey area or push you to hell for that matter.

It is very tiring to find out everything been nothing short of being disregarded as unimportant, however being assured as the priority. It's all crap talk and giving you momentarily hope so that maybe you will just shut the fuck up.

I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Being able to do the things I like,doesn't mean I don't work hard or spend frivously without a care for anyone. The next thing I know people would like to say "yes I understand but...", going on to their own views which simply tell me just jolly well give up and be practical. You don't have to be too explicit about showing, I can feel it.

I can sense others' feelings, quite well if I say. But I do not want to tell them I understand.. simply I have not been through that particular incident. But I listen. absorb, and to tell the truth I do feel pain, hurt, anger.

damn, I really wish I can be less sensitive. I can cry at a sentence I saw, spoken and sometimes at people's happiness. But I learn to hold it in..so the urge to cry will come in one sudden rush and I just can't stop when the first tear dropped.

Secretly, I wish I can die. I meant it when I said it. If only, that incident few years back has succeeded. It's so ironic, where I can give wonderous advice and encouragement to others but not to myself. Being increasingly unhappy is poison. Maybe, I should adjust my thinking to 'all my unhappiness towards life is unimportant'.

Being alone is good I guess. At least I won't affect others, being treated like a fool when I care because in the end they don't believe my genuine feelings, deemed as being ignorant, navie and stupid because I think this way and I don't do politically correct stuff. Someone once told me, "Those who really appreciate me will really love me for who I am." It's so hard because initally you can accept, but they would want to change you in the end.

I never run away when people I love are faced with problems. But I am terribly upset when they assume I will behave that way. Or maybe I am just an useless vase, too lowly to be worthy (in other word, stupid)to understand. Likewise I get upset when faced with problems of my own, I received no support or understanding. Just being there and talking to me would be enough. Just that I might not always response. Sometimes there are too many things on my mind. But seriously my heart is melting when I felt the care and affection. I am expected to recover with immediate effect.

From now on, I shall give whatever people wanna hear and see. I will stop complaining..maybe only to my hams at least they won't judge me. Life is never easy and I wish for the day it stopped.



+ icY @ 12:53 AM